Your Economic Stimulus Plan

Now that March Madness is almost over, the bracketologists will have to wait nearly another year to put their theories and guesswork to the test. However, the school of bracketology must be expanded. It can be applied to any number of categories where guesswork and theories might be the order of the day. So I am going to attempt a “bracketology” of the economic stimulus plan, which will breakdown exactly who gets what and for how much most folks will sell out before we get down to the “final four”.

Our brackets should look something like the following:


In this sport, $800 billion to $1 trillion in cold, hard government cash is at stake. Also at stake is Social Security, social programs and a host of social services. Now this game is played according very strict rules. First, no limit exists as to the number of players a team can enter into the game. For instance, the workers have 130 million members, and they can all participate. This seems to give them an enormous advantage.

Don’t forget the second rule. When the whistle starts, teams must start lobbying. You lobby by cornering a congressman or senator and getting your point across on behalf of your team. In this game, billions of dollars are at stake. So not only must your team mates corner as many representatives as possible, they also should wine and dine them, preferably at ritzy strip bars.

Of course, you can do your own “bracketology” and become your own expert. Follow the money! Find out who will be the losers and winners in this great sport, where so many folks don’t even kno they are players! Are you a player? Find out in your next rebate check, or see if you have an increase in your food stamps like I got. Yeeaay! Party, like it’s 1999.