“All the children are well”
Adapted by Pat Hoertdoerfer from an excerpt of a speech by Rev. Dr. Patrick T. O’Neill
Among the most accomplished and fabled tribes of Africa, no tribe was considered to have warriors more fearsome or more intelligent than the mighty Masai. It is perhaps surprising, then, to learn the traditional greeting that passed between Masai warriors: “Kasserian Ingera,” one would always say to another. It means, “And how are the children?”
It is still the traditional greeting among the Masai, acknowledging the high value that the Masai always place on their children’s well-being. Even warriors with no children of their own would always give the traditional answer, “All the children are well.” Meaning, of course, that peace and safety prevail, that the priorities of protecting the young, the powerless, are in place. That Masai society has not forgotten its reason for being, its proper functions and responsibilities. “All the children are well” means that life is good. It means that the daily struggles for existence do not preclude proper caring for their young.
I wonder how it might affect our consciousness of our own children’s welfare if in our culture we took to greeting each other with this daily question: “And how are the children?” I wonder if we heard that question and passed it along to each other a dozen times a day, if it would begin to make a difference in the reality of how children are thought of or cared about in our own country.
I wonder if every adult among us, parent and non-parent alike, felt an equal weight for the daily care and protection of all the children in our community, in our town, in our state, in our country. . . . I wonder if we could truly say without any hesitation, “The children are well, yes, all the children are well.”
What would it be like . . . if the minister began every worship service by answering the question, “And how are the children?” If every town leader had to answer the question at the beginning of every meeting: “And how are the children? Are they all well?” Wouldn’t it be interesting to hear their answers? What would it be like… I wonder?
What would it be like if we dealt with the child within? Really cared about the wounded kid in most if not all of us?
I ask because one of my favorite psychologist/writers, Alice Miller, points out that adult behavior is determined by one’s upbringing. And it is her contention that standard parenting is abusive, injurious to the children, not nurturing. Thus, the dysfunction, depravity that you see in societies is a reflection of what has been passed on….and un-dealt with.
Miller talks about how little compassion we have for the child within, making excuses for the sometimes brutal, cruel treatment that we receive at the hands of our parents. Is it any wonder that some people can’t help but pick abusers – physical and emotional – when that is all that we know?!
Miller’s work needs to be understood clearly. How can we care for the children “CORRECTLY” so that we don’t create a generation of youth who reflect the sins of the fathers and mothers???