What is more detrimental to the Black community: Gay Marriage vs. Interracial Marriage

In light of the all the media buzz about Good Morning America host Robin Roberts publicly announcing her same-sex relationship (here), and in the wake of the Duck Dynasty Phil Robertson controversy (here), I wondered to myself: “why are we as a society so fascinated in who’s f*cking who!?”

There are numerous media outlets, from TMZ to Bossip, which feeds our cravenous appetites for such information gossip. Although there is nothing constructive, let alone enlightening, by nurturing and feeding this addiction to spy into other people’s lives, celebrities or not, these latest round of media stories did conceive this question for my consideration: “what is more detrimental to the Black community: gay marriage or interracial marriage?”

In an effort to legitimize their cause, one of the arguments proponents for gay marriage use is to compare their struggle to the fight for the legalization of interracial marriage. This is a similar tactic used by those who are fighting for gay rights, to compare it to the (continuing) struggle for civil and human rights of those with black skins. I discussed my feelings on that issue previously: “Is Gay the new Black?”

I recently had this discussion with a friend who was ranting that about how one the main ways the morals of society was being undermined, was by the cultural shift that has become more accepting of homosexuals. We’ve also had numerous discussions on a variety of strategies to empower the Black community. We both agree that everything starts with the Black family. Ironically, this is a black man who is married to a white woman.

Me: How many gay couples do you know?
Him: A couple maybe
Me: How many black people do you know who are in interracial relationships?
Him: Too many to count
Me: What more undermines the development of the Black family and the progress of the Black community: gay marriage or interracial marriage?”
Him: (silence)

Regardless of my personal and political beliefs on gay and interracial marriage, both in their owns ways, undermines the development of a strong Black family, which is the foundation of a strong Black community. However, the latter being more prevalent and acceptable, makes it more detrimental to the progress of the Black community.

What we need to do as a people is not spend our time and energy focussing on “who’s zoomin’ whom”, but on building, nurturing and developing, positive, respectful, life affirming relationships among and between black men and women, so as to lay a solid foundation of the Black family, upon which the Black community can firmly stand.

“Family, is it politically incorrect for a Black man to say that Black men should marry Black women and that we should be deeply concerned about the effeminization of the Black male? Is it strange to be alarmed about the erosion of whatever values our communities once possessed that held those communities together even in the worst of times? If so, I suppose that I stand on the outside looking in. When I see so many prominent Black men sporting non-Black women on their side and see a strong looking Black man in a dress with high heels and curlers, to me it is a cause of disgust and alarm. And I am not shy about saying it. Is that what our Ancestors survived enslavement and colonization for? My god, what is happening to us?” Runoko Rashidi

Byts and Bytes

Another missionary in Africa: the Bill Gates myth

The Egyptian Elections and the Arab Spring 

The War on Gays

Why I Don’t Support Same Sex Marriage

New French Socialist Government Appoint 3 Black Cabinet Ministers

is Gay the new Black!?

I have a Muslim friend who would every so often tell me that “Brown is the new Black”. This would be after telling me of some discrimination that some Muslim person had experienced. At first I was amused and would laugh when he made the comment, but after a while it would annoy me. He would rant about the increased “racism” Muslims now faced since 9/11. Although some of the situations were blatant acts of discrimination, most I would characterize as “inconveniences”, that we as Black people have had to put up with for ages. But I guess it comes down to what you’re used to having to put up with. 

He repeated the comment to me one day and I finally had to “school” him that in no way could Muslims claim that their current experiences were in any way comparable to the racism and challenges Black people in North America faced today. I told him of a story relayed to me by a Black friend of mine who worked at a prestigious law firm. There weren’t many “people of colour” there, but she noticed how the “brown” people… the Muslims and East Indians… rarely associated with their Black co-workers, until after September 11th, 2001. The “brown” people were quick to socialize and sit everyday with their “white” co-workers in the lunch room, but she noticed a chill had developed between the “browns” and the “whites” on September 12th… and the “browns” then became very friendly and found the desire and time, to want to sit and socialize with their new found “Black” brothers and sisters.

I also reminded him that Muslims weren’t very supportive of the civil rights struggles of African-Americans… nor Caribbean/African-Canadians for that matter… and that chattel slavery of black-skinned Africans, whether they are Muslims or not,  is still widely and openly practiced today in some Muslim countries in Africa, like Sudan and Mauritania. Although European involvement of African slavery is well documented in western history, not as well known is that Muslims also enslaved and depopulated Africa just as much and as harshly. So as far as I am concerned, “Black is still the new Black… and the same ole Black… all rolled up into one”. Now that Muslims find themselves “under the eurocentric and racist microscope”, trying to equate and legitimize their new struggles by associating it with ours… just does not compute. Simply put: “We don’t want them!” He never made the statement to me again… and yes… we are still very good friends.

Proposition 8, Obama and Rev. Rick Warren

I have been nominally paying attention to all the various reactions of the passage of Proposition 8 in California regarding the issue of gay marriage.  This controversy has recently become even more heated when it was announced that President-Elect Obama has invited Rev. Rick Warren, a staunch anti-gay marriage proponent of the Proposition, to give the inaugural invocation. From all that I have heard and read, I have a few thoughts I would like to share:

1. I am under the impression that in a democracy (or a so-called democracy), one is allowed to have, express and advocate for ones opinion. .. within certain boundaries of-course. One of the ways that one can express their opinion is at the ballot box and if a democratic society creates a process by which the majority opinion will be the premise of a law, then so be it. However, if you hold strongly that it is an unjust law, then you have the opportunity and I would also add the moral obligation, to work to overturn that law through various strategies, with the assistance of those who hold the same view. The efforts of William Wilberforce, Gandhi, Martin Luther King and even the Quebec separatists here in Canada come to mind. 
2. I have never, never understood why in a democratic society, if I don’t hold the same opinion as you, why… at best I should be ridiculed or at worst demonized for expressing my beliefs!? Wasn’t it for the right to express my opinion that my ancestors… in North America, in the Caribbean and in the motherland of Africa… struggled and sacrificed so much, including their lives!? What therefore makes you feel entitled or gives you permission to devalue me as a human being because I don’t think as you do!?  
3. Then I’m hearing this notion that because the majority of Black people in California voted for Proposition 8, they are collectively to blame for the ban on gay marriage… and are therefore hate-mongers. I urge you to read these articles in The Black Agenda Report and The Black Sentinel on this allegation. They address it much better than I ever could.  

Maybe it’s because I live in Canada, where the issue of gay marriage is no longer a controversial issue, that I don’t understand all the name-calling and demonizing from both sides of this issue south of the border.  Canadians as a whole, rightly or wrongly, for better or worse, don’t get twisted and go way over the top on issues anyway. The Supreme Court of Canada found that it was unconstitutional for governments not to recognize gay marriages, so laws were changed and that was that. I remember at the time that some Christian leaders asked their members to write letters and submit petitions to their Members of Parliament to voice their disagreement, but I don’t remember any bitterness and/or nastiness from either sides of this issue. Don’t get me wrong, Canada is far from perfect and we have our own issues around racism, sexism and homophobia… but you would find more passion around the issue of which hockey team you support than around gay rights.

I also read that Rev. Joseph Lowery, an outspoken advocate for gay rights and marriage, has been invited by the President-Elect to do the inaugural benediction.  So it appears that Obama is indeed a “uniter”.

From all that I have read, the most enlightening comment came from Marc responding to this post at The Kitchen Table: